Bridging the Gap: Cultural & Family Values in Career Decision-Making

It's the end of the academic year. A student comes into my office, visibly distressed and somewhat anxious. The student sits down, takes a deep breath, and says, "My parents want me to be a doctor, but I'm failing Biology. I want to major in the Arts, but am afraid about how they would react. I don't know what to do."

This scenario is not uncommon. As a former Career Counselor at the University of California, Irvine, I was fortunate to work with a very diverse population of students. Throughout these experiences, I have noticed time and time again how cultural and family values can impact career decision-making. Being an Iranian American myself, my family's values were largely shaped by the Persian culture, which places high value on education, prestige, and financial security. Consequently, careers in medicine, law, and engineering, are encouraged and in many families expected. Now don't get me wrong; These are all great professions for those who are genuinely interested in these fields. For those that aren't, however, there are other options that are just as great.

What happens then when a student wants to pursue a different path, like the Arts or the Social Sciences? In some cases, the student is both encouraged and supported by his or her family. For others, however, this is not always the case. The student might be forbidden to pursue such an "unstable" career, which can be highly discouraging for him or her and very strenuous on family relationships.

So as a Career Counseling professional, how do I approach this situation? Tell the student to think independently from his or her parents? Suggest pursuing his or her passion, regardless of the family's reaction? Absolutely not! In some families and in many collectivistic cultures, family and group decision-making is highly valued. So who is to say that an independent mindset is the "right" way to be? As a helping professional, it is imperative that I consider the "whole" person, and in doing so, tailor my counseling approach accordingly.

I first begin by recognizing the common ground between the student and his or her family. I often state, "It is obvious that both you and your parents have your best interest in mind. You each just have a different idea of what that means." It is not a question of right or wrong, but rather one of conflicting values.

Second, I encourage students to identify their own values and those of their parents, so that they can begin to see where the discrepancy lies. Once they have identified this discrepancy, we can begin to discuss how to reach a compromise. This process involves:

• Self-evaluation
• Tailored research
• Thoughtful planning

Let's take an example: "Leila" is a female Iranian American college sophomore who expresses interest in Studio Art. Her parents, however, want her to major in the Physical Sciences. Once I have listened and gained a good understanding of the situation, I can proceed with the following steps:

1. I first have Leila complete a values assessment, comparing her values to those of her parents. In doing so, she identifies a conflict between her value for working in her interest field and her parents' value for high income.

2. The next step is research. I refer Leila to online and Career Center resources, where she researches occupations that allow her to express her creativity. Her search may include finding out about sample job titles, typical career paths, opportunities for advancement, salary ranges, etc. This information can help address some of the concerns or questions raised by her parents.

3. Third, Leila develops a timeline, which identifies specific action steps she plans to take each year for the next five years and specific deadlines for completing them. These steps may include applying for an internship, identifying and pursuing research opportunities, and so on.

Once Leila has completed this process, she then approaches her parents with all the information she has collected regarding her interest field and her specified action plan. By following this approach, students often come out of the process feeling more motivated, better organized, and more confident about communicating their desired goals. I find that parents are often more receptive to this because the student has provided them with the necessary "facts" to envision a successful future.

Final Points:

1. We don't talk enough about the effects of parental and cultural pressure on our students. The lack of family support can have serious negative repercussion on the students when they are pursuing careers that are not a true extension of their natural abilities and desired interests (depression, anxiety, etc.).

2. On a larger scale, the consequences for our society are tremendous. When students are only encouraged to pursue certain careers, we lack Iranian American representation in other career fields. This affects the community in the long run.
   

3. Much of our behavior is based on misinformation. There are thousands of job titles in addition to Doctor, Lawyer, Engineer, etc. Go to your schools' Career Center to find out what your options are and how you can enter your desired career field.

4. Keep in mind that high income does not necessarily lead to higher life satisfaction for all people.

5. I offer the beginnings of a solution: Become aware. Parents and students: BOTH of your perspectives are important. And the only way to facilitate a healthy relationship is to have open communication. Parents, attend your students' school orientations, learn about the campus and resources so that you can better understand the environment your student is experiencing. Students, seek assistance when you need it. Don't fall in a downward spiral when you start feeling unmotivated or confused about your future. Use your resources; They are there to help you.